February is the month of love. While many couples anticipate a well-planned Valentine’s Day evening, there are many of us who dread the inevitable loneliness that comes with being single on this particular day. It can be hard at times, more so as February 14th approaches, to accept singularity and its associated emotions. For this month of love may insinuate love from one partner to another, I urge those who are not in a romantic relationship to open their hearts to all their relationships: with themselves, coworkers, friends, family and even pets!

Love is not solely based on sex. In fact, author Gary D. Chapman of The Five Love Languages, suggests there are 5 predominant ways in which we show and feel the most loved. Here are the five love languages and ways us single people can experience it this Valentine’s Day:

#1 Physical Touch

Yes. This is the sex part of romantic relationships. It is also the hugs, back grazes and hand touches given by friends and family. Sometimes it is soothing to receiving a friendly hug when emotionally upset, or perhaps it’s a pleasant gesture when arriving and departing from social gatherings. Embrace physical touch from those in your life you love (i.e. spread some love with a few extra hugs). If you feel the need to incorporate more relaxation via physical touch, treat yourself to a massage.

#2 Acts of Service

Remember the last time someone helped you run an errand, do a house chore or cooked you a meal? Were you surprised? Elated? Or even a touch confused? Perhaps you are always the person to get things done and rarely ask for help. Those times when you received help unexpectedly, remember how much you felt appreciated and loved. Try to show more love to friends, colleagues, and family through acts of service you know others would like. In return, practice asking for more help for tasks you know another would be helpful with.

In a Relationship and Looking for Date Ideas for a More Connected Valentines Day?

#3 Receiving Gifts

Everyone likes to receive a present every now and then. Buying your co-worker a coffee or treating a friend to a movie, are ways in which we show our love for one another. Just because the Christmas spirit has passed, doesn’t mean you can’t show even strangers genuine acts of kindness. Surprise the person behind you by buying their coffee or make cookies for the office. Love is easily spread through food and small items, so the next time you’re in your favorite coffee shop or grocery store, think about spending some genuine, gift-giving love.

#4 Quality Time

Time is a gift in itself, one that should be used wisely. Outside of the unavoidable hours spent at work or running a household, free time is best spent with people whose company you enjoy most. Quality time with family gets better with age so cherish the time you get to spend with your parents, siblings, and children as often as you can. Try to listen and be present to the stories of others, and have undivided attention during conversations and activities. Show love for your pet too! With hectic lives of many adults, it is important to remember to spend quality time you’re your furry friend as well. Lastly, do not forget yourself. Quality time spent alone is part of a healthy self-care regiment. It allows you to process the experiences you go through each day, and show self-appreciation.

#5 Words of Affirmation

“I love you,” “you look beautiful,” “I’m so lucky to have you,” are all statements that affirm one another to acknowledge our love for them. Words are very powerful, so use them wisely. This Valentine’s Day, compliment and acknowledge the people around you. You will be surprised how often this practice is returned. Again, do not forget yourself! Telling yourself you look beautiful or thanking your body for getting you through a rough day releases neurotransmitters in the brain responsible for happiness. Your thoughts set your mindful and should be reinforced by affirmation for self-love.

If you are single this Valentine’s Day, embrace these love languages and direct them towards the caring people around you as well as yourself. Perhaps this course of being lasts longer than the pseudo-holiday and you begin to practice that art of love increasingly throughout your day.

~ Christine of Parallel Wellness

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